Its been a while since I posted a blog post, no excuse I honestly just have the bad habit to let my blog take a back seat when life is a tad bit hectic. Hopefully, I am forgiven. it’s been ages since I posted a really personal post. the reason I stopped was my mother told me I make excuses for my life. so I took a step back and only when I decided I was ready would I post.
On Sunday I had a tiny rant on Twitter where I spoke about something I am dealing and finally admitted to myself my blog takes the blame for my fault.
let me take this chance of promoting my twitter account @yourdailyjay.
If you follow me on Instagram you should know that almost 4 months ago I lost one of the most important people in my life, My grandmother. Even though I had some time to prepare I didn’t handle it well, I don’t speak about the sadness to anyone just simply because its supposed to be personal. My grandmother was the most amazing person in my life and the lessons, memories, and laughs we shared together I will cherish forever.
I live every day trying to change myself to be someone she and my mother would be proud of. I made so many mistakes in life that when the going got tough and my entire life was falling apart, these women were there.
How many times have a posted a picture about losing weight or changing my lifestyle and I never do it? Something that has ruined my brand as a whole. In May I got a major wake up call from the doctors that made me realize I am damaging my future, yes I said it My future. I was diagnosed with a syndrome that may affect me having kids…scary right? with that, I found out that I am heading in the direction of getting diabetes. That’s my body telling me “Excuse me? Please look after me” and to be honest possibly being diabetic at the age of 25 is scary.
Since then my health has taken a turn for a worse, Dealing with my work stress and my body being exposed to medication, I began getting what was one of the most worrying symptoms tingling arms and weird vision if you don’t know this….these symptoms are commonly seen to be heart attack symptoms.
I went to the doctor and discovered that it could be my medication that I am on and was taken off my medication for 2 weeks and now I’m literally just monitoring my body.
On the plus size, My doctor weighed me and I lost 3.5KGs in a month. it may not look like it but I feel 100% better however you cant see something because my lazy bum is too lazy to get to the gym. I’m taking the necessary steps
In March my job became extremely uncertain since then I have been dealing with the thought of dealing with unemployment for the third time in my career (which is only 3 years old), I can not go into too much detail however my world felt as if it was being turned upside down once again. It has literally suffocated my life, mentally and physically. Living with the unknown is hectic. The moment in time has taught me a lot about my willpower, the people I work with and genuinely how much I need to listen to my inner voice instead of telling it to keep quiet when it’s trying to warn me.
As much as my career is in the air right now I have my best foot forward and working my butt off to get my career and blog off the charts.
Babe, I deal with some much and sometimes I feel super lonely. a small thing set me off. My brother wasn’t going to be traveling with me in the mornings. the first morning I was felt so alone. There are moments where I feel like I need to be in a relationship or I feel like I need to go for that guy that won’t treat me right just so I won’t feel alone. but I literally can’t. As I mentioned I have a lot to deal with. I love every one of my readers and honestly having a blog is a blessing.
Thank you for supporting me and putting up with a hot and cold. but as I take a slight step back from my reality I am hoping to write some blog posts and get back to my schedule
Until we meet again
Janine Papier, 24 from Cape Town. A IT girl by day and blogger by night. This is my space for you all about Lifestyle, Social Media and Blogging.